Births to Unmarried U.S. Women Set Record
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By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID Posted: 10/28/05 - 01:51:25 pm CDT
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WASHINGTON - Nearly 1.5 million babies, a record, were born to unmarried women in the United States last year, the government reported Friday. And it isn't just teenagers any more.
"People have the impression that teens and unmarried mothers are synonymous," said Stephanie Ventura of the National Center for Health Statistics.
But last year teens accounted for just 24 percent of unwed births, down from 50 percent in 1970, she commented.
The increases in unmarried births have been among women in their 20s, she said, particularly those 25 to 29.
Many of the women in that age group are living with partners but still count as unmarried mothers if they haven't formally married, Ventura noted.
The 20s are the prime childbearing years, regardless of whether the mother is married or not, she said.
Among teens, more than 80 percent of mothers were unmarried.
There were 1,470,152 babies born to single women in 2004, 35.7 percent of all births in the country, NCHS said. That was up from 1,415,995 a year earlier.
Births to older women continued to increase, Brady Hamilton of NCHS pointed out, reflecting choices these women are making in terms of careers and having families.
The birth rate for women aged 35 to 39 increased 4 percent from 2003 to 2004. It was up 3 percent for women aged 40 to 44 and 9 percent for those 45 to 49.
Other findings of the report included:
_There was a total of 4,115,590 births in the country in 2004, up from 4,089,950 in 2003.
_Births to whites declined by nearly 18,000 while Hispanics were up 32,000, there was an increase of more than 8,000 in births to Asians and a rise of just 72 births among black women.
_The total birth rate was 14.0 per 1,000 women, down from 14.1 in 2003.
_The birth rate for women aged 15 to 19 was 41.2 per 1,000, down from 41.6 in 2003 and a record low. The teen birth rate was 61.8 in 1991 and has been declining since.
On the Net:
National Center for Health Statistics: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs
A service of the Associated Press(AP)
Friday, October 28, 2005
Friday, October 21, 2005
Who is God in the Bible?
Jesus and Yahweh: The names Divine. Harold Bloom, literary critic of longstanding reputation, has entered again into an area of some rhetorical density.
Bloom has ventured to look at the books of the bible and to examine the interrelationships existing among: Yahweh (the God the Tanakh); Jesus (the son of Mary and Joseph); and Jesus Christ (the Son of God).
Half way through his book, Bloom sets out, for me, the thesis of his work.
“ … ‘Jesus’ in my title primarily means Jesus-the-Christ, a theological God. Yahweh, in his earlier and definitive career, is not at all a theological God, but is human, all-too-human, and behaves rather unpleasantly. Christianity transforms Jesus of Nazareth, a historical person about whom we possess only a few verifiable facts, into a polytheistic multiplicity that replaces the uncannily menacing Yahweh with a very different God the Father, whose Son is the Christ or risen Messiah. Both of these divinities are shadowed by a ghostly Paraclete (Comforter) named the Holy Spirit, while Miriam, the mother of the historical Yeshua or Jesus, lingers nearby under the designation of ‘The Virgin Mary’…”
P. 111
Bloom has ventured to look at the books of the bible and to examine the interrelationships existing among: Yahweh (the God the Tanakh); Jesus (the son of Mary and Joseph); and Jesus Christ (the Son of God).
Half way through his book, Bloom sets out, for me, the thesis of his work.
“ … ‘Jesus’ in my title primarily means Jesus-the-Christ, a theological God. Yahweh, in his earlier and definitive career, is not at all a theological God, but is human, all-too-human, and behaves rather unpleasantly. Christianity transforms Jesus of Nazareth, a historical person about whom we possess only a few verifiable facts, into a polytheistic multiplicity that replaces the uncannily menacing Yahweh with a very different God the Father, whose Son is the Christ or risen Messiah. Both of these divinities are shadowed by a ghostly Paraclete (Comforter) named the Holy Spirit, while Miriam, the mother of the historical Yeshua or Jesus, lingers nearby under the designation of ‘The Virgin Mary’…”
P. 111
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
You Sit Down to Dinner and Life As You Know It Ends
Joan Didion is an author of long standing acclaim. Her long career as a writer includes five novels and several books in the nonfiction genre. Her essays have been published in many journals.
She writes now, in autobiographical mode, of the extent and reality of sudden calamity in her life. In December 2003, her daughter became seriously ill. Didion and her husband became caregivers for their adult daughter who was being treated for a critical condition of unknown origin. Late on the night of December 30, 2003, her husband suffered a massive heart attack and died nearly instantly while at supper.
In this chronicle of those interwoven tragic events, ‘The Year of Magical Thinking’, Didion writes of the emotions and the memories and the near impossibility of understanding grief.
Her theme seems to be expressed as follows.
“ … Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it. We anticipate (we know) that someone close to us could die, but we do not look beyond the few days or weeks that immediately follow such an imagined death. We misconstrue the nature of even those few days or weeks. We might expect if the death is sudden to feel shock. We do not expect this shock to be obliterative, dislocating to both body and mind. We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss. We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool customers who believe that their husband is about to return and need his shoes. …
Nor can we know ahead of the fact (and here lies the heart of the difference between grief as we imagine it and grief as it is) the unending absence that follows, the void, the very opposite of meaning, the relentless succession of moments during which we will confront the experience of meaninglessness itself…” pp. 188, 189
And Didion repeats her catch phrase throughout the book, “You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends…”
She writes now, in autobiographical mode, of the extent and reality of sudden calamity in her life. In December 2003, her daughter became seriously ill. Didion and her husband became caregivers for their adult daughter who was being treated for a critical condition of unknown origin. Late on the night of December 30, 2003, her husband suffered a massive heart attack and died nearly instantly while at supper.
In this chronicle of those interwoven tragic events, ‘The Year of Magical Thinking’, Didion writes of the emotions and the memories and the near impossibility of understanding grief.
Her theme seems to be expressed as follows.
“ … Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it. We anticipate (we know) that someone close to us could die, but we do not look beyond the few days or weeks that immediately follow such an imagined death. We misconstrue the nature of even those few days or weeks. We might expect if the death is sudden to feel shock. We do not expect this shock to be obliterative, dislocating to both body and mind. We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss. We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool customers who believe that their husband is about to return and need his shoes. …
Nor can we know ahead of the fact (and here lies the heart of the difference between grief as we imagine it and grief as it is) the unending absence that follows, the void, the very opposite of meaning, the relentless succession of moments during which we will confront the experience of meaninglessness itself…” pp. 188, 189
And Didion repeats her catch phrase throughout the book, “You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends…”
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Changing Attitudes Among Young Adults
The young adult population views sexual activity and its consequences very differently today than 60 years ago.
A report in the recent Review of Psychology compared attitudes in 1943 versus today.
The abstract for the paper follows
Changes in Young People's Sexual Behavior and Attitudes, 1943-1999: A Cross-Temporal Meta-Analysis.
Wells, Brooke E.; Twenge, Jean M. Abstract
Article abstract: Hide abstract
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A cross-temporal meta-analysis of 530 studies (N = 269,649) showed that young people's sexual attitudes and behavior changed substantially between 1943 and 1999, with the largest shifts occurring among girls and young women. Both young men and women became more sexually active over time, as measured by age at first intercourse (decreasing from 19 to 15 years among young women) and percentage sexually active (increasing from 13% to 47% among young women). Attitudes toward premarital intercourse became more lenient, with approval increasing from 12% to 73% among young women and from 40% to 79% among young men. Feelings of sexual guilt decreased. The correlation between attitudes and behaviors was stronger among young women. These data support theories positing that culture has a larger effect on women's sexuality. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2005 APA, all rights reserved)
A report in the recent Review of Psychology compared attitudes in 1943 versus today.
The abstract for the paper follows
Changes in Young People's Sexual Behavior and Attitudes, 1943-1999: A Cross-Temporal Meta-Analysis.
Wells, Brooke E.; Twenge, Jean M. Abstract
Article abstract: Hide abstract
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A cross-temporal meta-analysis of 530 studies (N = 269,649) showed that young people's sexual attitudes and behavior changed substantially between 1943 and 1999, with the largest shifts occurring among girls and young women. Both young men and women became more sexually active over time, as measured by age at first intercourse (decreasing from 19 to 15 years among young women) and percentage sexually active (increasing from 13% to 47% among young women). Attitudes toward premarital intercourse became more lenient, with approval increasing from 12% to 73% among young women and from 40% to 79% among young men. Feelings of sexual guilt decreased. The correlation between attitudes and behaviors was stronger among young women. These data support theories positing that culture has a larger effect on women's sexuality. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2005 APA, all rights reserved)
Monday, October 03, 2005
Coping with chronic illness and Terminal Disease
The Anatomy of Hope – Jerome Groopman, M.D., holds the Dina and Raphael Recanati Chair of Medicine at the Harvard Medical School and is the chief of experimental medicine at the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston.
His previous books were: ‘The Measure of Our Days’ and ‘Second Opinions’.
Groopman writes from a long career in research and patient care and out of a personal background of faith and courage.
After years of treating patients and enduring his own afflictions, Groopman sought to understand more about the emotional and physical interplay in coping with pathology.
This book takes the reader beyond the ordinary.
What is hope for the terminally ill patient?
Groopman says that “…I am searching for hope. Hope, I have come to believe, is as vital to our lives as the very oxygen that we breathe...” p. 208
Further, he says that “… Each disease is uncertain in its outcome, and within that uncertainty, we find real hope, because a tumor has not always read the textbook, and a treatment can have an unexpectedly dramatic impact. This is the great paradox of true hope: Because nothing is absolutely determined, there is not only reason to fear but also reason to hope. And we must find ways to bridle fear and give greater rein to hope…” p. 210
“ … I see hope as the very heart of healing…” p. 212
His previous books were: ‘The Measure of Our Days’ and ‘Second Opinions’.
Groopman writes from a long career in research and patient care and out of a personal background of faith and courage.
After years of treating patients and enduring his own afflictions, Groopman sought to understand more about the emotional and physical interplay in coping with pathology.
This book takes the reader beyond the ordinary.
What is hope for the terminally ill patient?
Groopman says that “…I am searching for hope. Hope, I have come to believe, is as vital to our lives as the very oxygen that we breathe...” p. 208
Further, he says that “… Each disease is uncertain in its outcome, and within that uncertainty, we find real hope, because a tumor has not always read the textbook, and a treatment can have an unexpectedly dramatic impact. This is the great paradox of true hope: Because nothing is absolutely determined, there is not only reason to fear but also reason to hope. And we must find ways to bridle fear and give greater rein to hope…” p. 210
“ … I see hope as the very heart of healing…” p. 212
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
More Biblical Stories ... aka quasi-midrash
The Hannah story of patience and prayer and commitment.
In the style of 'The Red Tent', Eva Etzioni-Halevy has written 'The Song of Hannah'.
The familiar story of the birth of the prophet Samuel is found in the Tanakh.
In this book, the story is developed into a whole narrative to provide a deeper picture of the singular events.
In the style of 'The Red Tent', Eva Etzioni-Halevy has written 'The Song of Hannah'.
The familiar story of the birth of the prophet Samuel is found in the Tanakh.
In this book, the story is developed into a whole narrative to provide a deeper picture of the singular events.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
More on Marrriage ...
‘The Amateur Marriage’
Anne Tyler, prize winning author, wrote a very long and complicated novel about a marriage and the consequences of a doomed marriage.
Tyler seems to have worked in a frenzy to explain the myriad of difficulties that arise when a marriage without substance proceeds and fails.
When the couple break up, there is a very telling reflection by the wife as she seeks understanding about the fragile nature of her life.
Here’s the reflection.
“ …Once he’d told her, out of the blue, that he’d learned a new phrase from a customer: ‘killing the frog by degrees.’ ‘Guess where it comes from,’ he said.
‘I don’t even know what it means, ‘ Pauline said.
‘It means doing something so gradually that nobody happens to notice. Like reducing the size of a cereal box; that’s what brought it up. ‘The prices stay the same but the boxes get smaller and smaller, ‘ this customer was saying. ‘They’re killing the frog by degrees.’ I said, ‘Excuse me?’ Guess where it comes from.’
‘Where?’
‘Seems if you put a frog in a kettle of water and light a slow flame underneath, the water heats up one degree at a time and the frog doesn’t feel it happening. Finally it dies; never felt a thing.’
…………….
‘You think we’re being killed by degrees, don’t you. Our marriage . And you’re trying to claim that I’m the one who’s doing it’…”
Page 177/178….
Anne Tyler, prize winning author, wrote a very long and complicated novel about a marriage and the consequences of a doomed marriage.
Tyler seems to have worked in a frenzy to explain the myriad of difficulties that arise when a marriage without substance proceeds and fails.
When the couple break up, there is a very telling reflection by the wife as she seeks understanding about the fragile nature of her life.
Here’s the reflection.
“ …Once he’d told her, out of the blue, that he’d learned a new phrase from a customer: ‘killing the frog by degrees.’ ‘Guess where it comes from,’ he said.
‘I don’t even know what it means, ‘ Pauline said.
‘It means doing something so gradually that nobody happens to notice. Like reducing the size of a cereal box; that’s what brought it up. ‘The prices stay the same but the boxes get smaller and smaller, ‘ this customer was saying. ‘They’re killing the frog by degrees.’ I said, ‘Excuse me?’ Guess where it comes from.’
‘Where?’
‘Seems if you put a frog in a kettle of water and light a slow flame underneath, the water heats up one degree at a time and the frog doesn’t feel it happening. Finally it dies; never felt a thing.’
…………….
‘You think we’re being killed by degrees, don’t you. Our marriage . And you’re trying to claim that I’m the one who’s doing it’…”
Page 177/178….
Monday, September 12, 2005
And about marriages ... coming and going
Marriage and concerns …
Recall that Sue Monk Kidd, in her book ‘The Mermaid Chair’, described the uncoupling of the marriage of the main character and her subsequent attempts at rehabilitating the relationship.
In an earlier piece of writing, Kidd speaks of the many separate aspects of a woman’s journey of life. The book is ‘The Dance of the Dissident Daughter’.
Monk says that ‘…A marriage or any relationship between partners is meant to be created and re-created. It is an edifice a couple builds until the day the edifice can no longer hold them and they must bring it down and start again from scratch. And without any of the old assumptions. It’s exactly like Carolyn Heilbrun (Writing a Woman’s Life , 1988) says, all good marriages are remarriages…’ P. 101.
This is much like the cogent analyis in DIane Vaughn's study of marriage and divorce in her book -'Uncoupling'.
Recall that Sue Monk Kidd, in her book ‘The Mermaid Chair’, described the uncoupling of the marriage of the main character and her subsequent attempts at rehabilitating the relationship.
In an earlier piece of writing, Kidd speaks of the many separate aspects of a woman’s journey of life. The book is ‘The Dance of the Dissident Daughter’.
Monk says that ‘…A marriage or any relationship between partners is meant to be created and re-created. It is an edifice a couple builds until the day the edifice can no longer hold them and they must bring it down and start again from scratch. And without any of the old assumptions. It’s exactly like Carolyn Heilbrun (Writing a Woman’s Life , 1988) says, all good marriages are remarriages…’ P. 101.
This is much like the cogent analyis in DIane Vaughn's study of marriage and divorce in her book -'Uncoupling'.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Family Life and Current Trends ... distressing
The National Marriage Project
The National Marriage Project is a nonpartisan, nonsectarian and interdisciplinary initiative located at Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey. Each year, a report is issued on the heath of marriage in America.
In July of 2005, the report, ‘The State of Our Unions’ was issued and can be found on their web site – www.marriage.rutgers.edu
The following are extracted from the full report.
1. The marriage rate, the number of marriages per 1000 unmarried women, has dropped from 76.5 in 1970 to 39.9 in 2004.
2. The percentage of children under the age of 18 who live with both biological parents is 63 in the US, the lowest among Western industrialized nations.
3. In Sweden, virtually all couples live together before marriage, compared to two-thirds of couples currently in America.
4. Between 1960 and 2004, the number of unmarried couples in America increased by nearly 1200 percent. It is estimated that about a quarter of unmarried women age 25 to 39 are currently living with a partner and an additional quarter have lived with a partner at some time in the past.
5. Over half of all first marriages are now preceded by living together, compared to virtually none 50 years ago
6. While in 1960 only nine percent of all children lived in single-parent families, by 2004 thee percentage had jumped to 28%.
7. Since 1960, the percentage of babies born to unwed mothers has increased more than six fold. More than a third of all births and more than two-thirds of black births were out-of-wedlock.
8. An estimated 40 percent of all children are expected to spend some time in a cohabitating household during their growing up years.
9. Less than a third of the girls and only slightly more than a third of the boys (High School seniors in a survey) seem to believe that marriage is more beneficial to individuals than alternatives.
The National Marriage Project is a nonpartisan, nonsectarian and interdisciplinary initiative located at Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey. Each year, a report is issued on the heath of marriage in America.
In July of 2005, the report, ‘The State of Our Unions’ was issued and can be found on their web site – www.marriage.rutgers.edu
The following are extracted from the full report.
1. The marriage rate, the number of marriages per 1000 unmarried women, has dropped from 76.5 in 1970 to 39.9 in 2004.
2. The percentage of children under the age of 18 who live with both biological parents is 63 in the US, the lowest among Western industrialized nations.
3. In Sweden, virtually all couples live together before marriage, compared to two-thirds of couples currently in America.
4. Between 1960 and 2004, the number of unmarried couples in America increased by nearly 1200 percent. It is estimated that about a quarter of unmarried women age 25 to 39 are currently living with a partner and an additional quarter have lived with a partner at some time in the past.
5. Over half of all first marriages are now preceded by living together, compared to virtually none 50 years ago
6. While in 1960 only nine percent of all children lived in single-parent families, by 2004 thee percentage had jumped to 28%.
7. Since 1960, the percentage of babies born to unwed mothers has increased more than six fold. More than a third of all births and more than two-thirds of black births were out-of-wedlock.
8. An estimated 40 percent of all children are expected to spend some time in a cohabitating household during their growing up years.
9. Less than a third of the girls and only slightly more than a third of the boys (High School seniors in a survey) seem to believe that marriage is more beneficial to individuals than alternatives.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Evening Grace
Born, six years ago, Evening Grace, (Evie), celebrates her day and welcomes well wishes from all.
Happy Birthday ! Evie...
Love,
Grampie
Happy Birthday ! Evie...
Love,
Grampie
Monday, August 22, 2005
Narcissistic Personality Disorder ..NPD
Jon Krakauer, as he writes of the fundamentalist Mormons and their obsession with carrying out God’s revelation to them personally, describes the tragic murder of a woman and her child as the culmination of an individual’s acceptance of God’s will.
In ‘Under the Banner of Heaven’, Krakauer says that “ …Many people would also argue that virtually everyone who has introduced a new framework of religious beliefs to the world – from Jesus to Muhammad to Joseph Smith to Ron Lafferty – fits the diagnosis for narcissistic personality disorder. In the view of psychiatrists and psychologists, any individual who proclaims to be a prophet or guru – who claims to communicate with God – is almost by default, mentally or emotionally unbalanced to some degree…” P. 309.
In ‘Under the Banner of Heaven’, Krakauer says that “ …Many people would also argue that virtually everyone who has introduced a new framework of religious beliefs to the world – from Jesus to Muhammad to Joseph Smith to Ron Lafferty – fits the diagnosis for narcissistic personality disorder. In the view of psychiatrists and psychologists, any individual who proclaims to be a prophet or guru – who claims to communicate with God – is almost by default, mentally or emotionally unbalanced to some degree…” P. 309.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
And God said " ..."
Jon Krakauer wrote a memorable story of his encounter with nature and man on Mt. Everest with 'Into Thin Air'.
With 'Under the Banner of Heaven', his account of the history and the people of fundamentalist Mormonism, Krakauer has given us an insight into religion and God and man of great significance.
He begins the book with graphic detail of a murder akin to that of Truman Capote's 'In Cold Blood'.
Then, he gives us, the readers, the history of Mormonism and the split into fundamentalism.
For our age, and for the edification of all, this is a profound piece of writing.
More on this to come ....
With 'Under the Banner of Heaven', his account of the history and the people of fundamentalist Mormonism, Krakauer has given us an insight into religion and God and man of great significance.
He begins the book with graphic detail of a murder akin to that of Truman Capote's 'In Cold Blood'.
Then, he gives us, the readers, the history of Mormonism and the split into fundamentalism.
For our age, and for the edification of all, this is a profound piece of writing.
More on this to come ....
Monday, August 15, 2005
Ethics and Morality
“Quality of life versus sanctity of life…”
In ‘My Sister’s Keeper’, Jodi Picoult addresses some contemporary issues with the narrative account of family concerns over the life of one young daughter at the peril of another.
Ethics and morality are not the same – are they?
At the concluding stages of the book, the judge sitting for the court and the justice system offers this reflection.
“ …The answer is that there is no good answer. So as parents, as doctors, as judges, and as a society, we fumble, through and make decisions that allow us to sleep at night – because morals are more important than ethics, and love is more important than law…”
In ‘My Sister’s Keeper’, Jodi Picoult addresses some contemporary issues with the narrative account of family concerns over the life of one young daughter at the peril of another.
Ethics and morality are not the same – are they?
At the concluding stages of the book, the judge sitting for the court and the justice system offers this reflection.
“ …The answer is that there is no good answer. So as parents, as doctors, as judges, and as a society, we fumble, through and make decisions that allow us to sleep at night – because morals are more important than ethics, and love is more important than law…”
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Smashed ... Koren Zailckas
Reviving Ophelia Redux ..
Earlier this year, Koren Zailckas published her chronicle of the years she spent abusing alcohol. She started drinking just before starting high school. She stopped the abuse after graduation from college and her first year in the work place as a professional writer.
Her book, ‘Smashed’ is a forthright account of the allure of alcohol and the ways in which teens can hide from the difficult years.
As an aside to her tale, she writes of her relationship with her parents, keeping them out of the loop and keeping life in order.
Zailckas says that “ … I decide to tell a fraction of the truth. It will become something I will tell my parents for years in times of distress. I like to think of it as the-whole-truth and-nothing-but-the-truth’s second cousin; they may not share all the same physical characteristics, but there is no denying they’re related…” page 75.
This is an enormously detailed story of the other side of life that some teens enter into while traveling the high road of academic success and comportment. Zailckas attained success in school with grades and such but failed in the social maturation.
Earlier this year, Koren Zailckas published her chronicle of the years she spent abusing alcohol. She started drinking just before starting high school. She stopped the abuse after graduation from college and her first year in the work place as a professional writer.
Her book, ‘Smashed’ is a forthright account of the allure of alcohol and the ways in which teens can hide from the difficult years.
As an aside to her tale, she writes of her relationship with her parents, keeping them out of the loop and keeping life in order.
Zailckas says that “ … I decide to tell a fraction of the truth. It will become something I will tell my parents for years in times of distress. I like to think of it as the-whole-truth and-nothing-but-the-truth’s second cousin; they may not share all the same physical characteristics, but there is no denying they’re related…” page 75.
This is an enormously detailed story of the other side of life that some teens enter into while traveling the high road of academic success and comportment. Zailckas attained success in school with grades and such but failed in the social maturation.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Listening to the girls ...
Girls’ Wisdom
Here are some excrepts from Lisa Machoian's book "The Disappearing Girl".
Much of the material in Machoian’s book is derived from her interviews and therapy sessions with young women. The stories are anecdotal and narrated as told to her.
At the end, we have the opportunity to hear from some of the youngsters themselves. Machoian asked the girls for their comments and recommendations and ‘wisdom’.
Here are some examples.
Question: how do you know when someone is listening?
“They’re making eye contact, they’re not slouching of looking the other way or saying, ‘Excuse me for a minute I have to go do this,’ or ‘What did you say again? I didn’t hear you’. It’s giving full attention and asking you questions and returning your answers with questions and having comments for what you said. Not just ‘Yup, uh-huh, OK’.
“You know by the questions they ask and if they change anything as a result.”
Question: What do you want to tell parents?
“You’ve got to take them seriously. Be open. Listen to what they have to say and try to understand it from their perspective.”
“Make time, no matter what you are doing. I don’t care if you are making dinner or saving the world. Well, if you are doing that keep doing it. Make time no matter what you are doing. I don’t care if you are doing your own work. You have to put it down. Make time, because it will get worse and worse and worse.”
Question: What do you want to say to other teenagers who may be struggling?
“Talk to someone immediately. People do want to help you. And no matter who you are, you have a voice. And, sooner or later, someone will pay attention to you. You have to be out in the open about it and everything.”
Here are some excrepts from Lisa Machoian's book "The Disappearing Girl".
Much of the material in Machoian’s book is derived from her interviews and therapy sessions with young women. The stories are anecdotal and narrated as told to her.
At the end, we have the opportunity to hear from some of the youngsters themselves. Machoian asked the girls for their comments and recommendations and ‘wisdom’.
Here are some examples.
Question: how do you know when someone is listening?
“They’re making eye contact, they’re not slouching of looking the other way or saying, ‘Excuse me for a minute I have to go do this,’ or ‘What did you say again? I didn’t hear you’. It’s giving full attention and asking you questions and returning your answers with questions and having comments for what you said. Not just ‘Yup, uh-huh, OK’.
“You know by the questions they ask and if they change anything as a result.”
Question: What do you want to tell parents?
“You’ve got to take them seriously. Be open. Listen to what they have to say and try to understand it from their perspective.”
“Make time, no matter what you are doing. I don’t care if you are making dinner or saving the world. Well, if you are doing that keep doing it. Make time no matter what you are doing. I don’t care if you are doing your own work. You have to put it down. Make time, because it will get worse and worse and worse.”
Question: What do you want to say to other teenagers who may be struggling?
“Talk to someone immediately. People do want to help you. And no matter who you are, you have a voice. And, sooner or later, someone will pay attention to you. You have to be out in the open about it and everything.”
Thursday, August 04, 2005
The Environment for Teenagers ...
“Entering Dangerous Territory”
In chapter one, of ‘The Disappearing Girl’, Machoian establishes the context and environment within and around the young people she listens to and talks with.
Our society is ever changing in cultural moods and social pressures. Listen to Machoian.
“…As girls become teenagers, it’s as though they are suddenly hapless tourists in their own lives, dropped in a strange uncharted territory without a compass or a map. The whole experience of trying to meet the new demands of friends, school, and family can be confusing, and girls can lose a sense of who they really are. It’s not news that culture, peers, and social expectations play tremendous roles in the lives of teens. What is new is that the mass media are more seductive than ever; teenage millionaire celebrities are on magazine covers weekly; expensive designer labels attempt to define girls; technology provides new ways for teenagers to communicate – and be hurtful to one another; and the social pressure to engage in sexual behaviors is falling on younger and younger girls. We have known about these cultural pressures and stressors for decades, but they are becoming so intense that they are having an impact on the rate of depression in teenage girls. When the expectations and standards around them shift so quickly, girls don’t have the life experience to guide them on the way…” Page 1 and 2.
In chapter one, of ‘The Disappearing Girl’, Machoian establishes the context and environment within and around the young people she listens to and talks with.
Our society is ever changing in cultural moods and social pressures. Listen to Machoian.
“…As girls become teenagers, it’s as though they are suddenly hapless tourists in their own lives, dropped in a strange uncharted territory without a compass or a map. The whole experience of trying to meet the new demands of friends, school, and family can be confusing, and girls can lose a sense of who they really are. It’s not news that culture, peers, and social expectations play tremendous roles in the lives of teens. What is new is that the mass media are more seductive than ever; teenage millionaire celebrities are on magazine covers weekly; expensive designer labels attempt to define girls; technology provides new ways for teenagers to communicate – and be hurtful to one another; and the social pressure to engage in sexual behaviors is falling on younger and younger girls. We have known about these cultural pressures and stressors for decades, but they are becoming so intense that they are having an impact on the rate of depression in teenage girls. When the expectations and standards around them shift so quickly, girls don’t have the life experience to guide them on the way…” Page 1 and 2.
More on depression and our teen population
Depression: Real and deadly
Studies abound and survey data corroborate the findings that the impulse for suicide is real for teenagers. The Massachusetts Department of Education (in conjunction with the Center for Disease Control) has taken surveys of high school students over many years.
The data are consistent. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for these youngsters. Accidents are the leading cause. For all the concern we have for death from illness and accidents, what are our concerns for suicide and its causes?
Lisa Machoian addresses this directly in her book – “The Disappearing Girl”.
She says that “ …At the edge of adolescence, around age twelve, the rate of depression in girls rapidly rises, which stands in contrast to childhood, when boys outnumber girls in rates of depression. By age fifteen, girls with depression outnumber boys by a ratio of two to one, a statistic that mirrors the adult population. Some surveys report that teenage girls are seven times more apt to be depressed than teenage boys and two to ten times more likely to attempt suicide. Boys, though they attempt suicide less frequently, are more apt to kill themselves when they do attempt it. Surveys tell us that 25 percent or more of teenage girls report depression. Teenage girls report high rates of suicidal thinking, a common symptom of depression…Researchers found a peak in girls’ suicide attempts at ages thirteen and fourteen…” Page xix..
Studies abound and survey data corroborate the findings that the impulse for suicide is real for teenagers. The Massachusetts Department of Education (in conjunction with the Center for Disease Control) has taken surveys of high school students over many years.
The data are consistent. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for these youngsters. Accidents are the leading cause. For all the concern we have for death from illness and accidents, what are our concerns for suicide and its causes?
Lisa Machoian addresses this directly in her book – “The Disappearing Girl”.
She says that “ …At the edge of adolescence, around age twelve, the rate of depression in girls rapidly rises, which stands in contrast to childhood, when boys outnumber girls in rates of depression. By age fifteen, girls with depression outnumber boys by a ratio of two to one, a statistic that mirrors the adult population. Some surveys report that teenage girls are seven times more apt to be depressed than teenage boys and two to ten times more likely to attempt suicide. Boys, though they attempt suicide less frequently, are more apt to kill themselves when they do attempt it. Surveys tell us that 25 percent or more of teenage girls report depression. Teenage girls report high rates of suicidal thinking, a common symptom of depression…Researchers found a peak in girls’ suicide attempts at ages thirteen and fourteen…” Page xix..
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
The World of Young Adults
In the literature on parenting and understanding the world of teens and young adults, there are plentiful books speaking to specific issues. Some texts deal with both genders; others treat just one gender.
Lisa Machoian is the author of "The Disappearing Girl:Learning the Language of Teenage Depression".
This is an extremely well written book with a cogent study of the pressures and concerns facing young women today.
For example, why do some kids abuse themselves- cutting or indulging in eating disorders?
Machoian quotes a girl who says that " ...OK; cutting gives me a reason for people to listen to me. But I don't think about it consciously; it's subsconscious. If I cut, I'm not saying,'Gee, I want them to talk to me.'"
... "When I feel like nobody cares, I cut myself because I think I'm not worth it, and then I take everything out on myself"... Page 32.
This is a book that parents and their children can both benefit from reading and discussing.
Lisa Machoian is the author of "The Disappearing Girl:Learning the Language of Teenage Depression".
This is an extremely well written book with a cogent study of the pressures and concerns facing young women today.
For example, why do some kids abuse themselves- cutting or indulging in eating disorders?
Machoian quotes a girl who says that " ...OK; cutting gives me a reason for people to listen to me. But I don't think about it consciously; it's subsconscious. If I cut, I'm not saying,'Gee, I want them to talk to me.'"
... "When I feel like nobody cares, I cut myself because I think I'm not worth it, and then I take everything out on myself"... Page 32.
This is a book that parents and their children can both benefit from reading and discussing.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Mary Magadalene ... a new biography
I just saw in another Blog, Amy Welborn, reference to a new biography on Mary Magadalene.
It's listed on Amazon as being available in November.. and written by Bruce Chilton.
I've read and enjoyed other books by Chilton and look forwrad to this new one.
It's listed on Amazon as being available in November.. and written by Bruce Chilton.
I've read and enjoyed other books by Chilton and look forwrad to this new one.
Interview possibility
I was in conversation with a local group of clergy and I mentioned the book - 'After the Apple'. One of the group remembered the book and thought she knew someone who knew the author.
I'll see if I can connect and do some in depth work on the writing and the work behind the book.
I'll see if I can connect and do some in depth work on the writing and the work behind the book.
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