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‘The Amateur Marriage’

Anne Tyler, prize winning author, wrote a very long and complicated novel about a marriage and the consequences of a doomed marriage.

Tyler seems to have worked in a frenzy to explain the myriad of difficulties that arise when a marriage without substance proceeds and fails.

When the couple break up, there is a very telling reflection by the wife as she seeks understanding about the fragile nature of her life.

Here’s the reflection.

“ …Once he’d told her, out of the blue, that he’d learned a new phrase from a customer: ‘killing the frog by degrees.’ ‘Guess where it comes from,’ he said.

‘I don’t even know what it means, ‘ Pauline said.
‘It means doing something so gradually that nobody happens to notice. Like reducing the size of a cereal box; that’s what brought it up. ‘The prices stay the same but the boxes get smaller and smaller, ‘ this customer was saying. ‘They’re killing the frog by degrees.’ I said, ‘Excuse me?’ Guess where it comes from.’

‘Where?’

‘Seems if you put a frog in a kettle of water and light a slow flame underneath, the water heats up one degree at a time and the frog doesn’t feel it happening. Finally it dies; never felt a thing.’

…………….

‘You think we’re being killed by degrees, don’t you. Our marriage . And you’re trying to claim that I’m the one who’s doing it’…”

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